Where does the phrase “the do’s and the don’ts” come from? This short story is about a legalistic father, Ben, who rules his free-spirited son, Sean, with fear and condemnation and the result of this kind of upbringing. Ben was raised up in a very strict “Christian” family. “Do” and “don’t” played a very important part in his life.

Ben one day met a lovely young lady and fell in love. After marrying, it was already felt that there wasn’t a solid foundation on which to build their home. As often happen the misconception of “things will be better when the children arrive,” came into being. A little boy was born to the couple. Sean grew up as an only child in a legalistic family with his father being the dictator in the home. Sean grew into a rebellious teenager having spent most of his life hearing “do” and “don’t” in the house.

Very sadly and as often happens in this situation, Sean turned to alcohol as a means of escape. Before long Sean was “declared” an alcoholic. Disturbing, the following phrases were typical of what he heard, instead of being showered with love and help, “Why are you doing this! I have worked so hard to make you a good person. Look at what you’ve done! You look like an alcoholic beggar!” Den didn’t hear this son’s deep cries for help and Sean threw himself from the top of a building a few weeks later. They weren’t able to save him and Sean died, lonely, hurt and in the depths of despair. Only now did Den see all his son’s cries for help with deep regret and repentance Den cried out to God. But, all the why’s? and how’s? would never bring Sean back. God is gracious and forgive Dean for his misgivings and selfishness.

I want to share with you what I have learnt from this word “legalism”. Firstly, I want to break into two words (‘legal’ & ‘ism’). “Legal” is based on or concerned with the law or means to show very strict obedience to or respect for the law. “Ism” means any distinctive practice, system or philosophy. Putting these two words together forms “legalism” or another meaning “the do’s and “the don’ts” approach.

Legalism is dangerous. It causes man to reverse his priorities and values while at the same time it has him thinking he is growing in grace and righteousness. It is much as the scribes and Pharisees whom Jesus charged of expressing the outside, less-important things and ignoring the inside more important matters Matthew 23. In fact, it is sad to say that millions of people have literally a “Christianity Legalism” mind-set today. The “do’s and the don’ts” affect every human’s willpower (against his/her wishes). Either one will come into total rebellion or be a human robot (humanoid). Every human being has a free will and a free choice in life – whether it is good or bad. We all have a free will.

I want to give you some examples of Legalism: Don’t go near the boys (when speaking to a girl), don’t wear pants because this is for boys only – girls must only wear skirts! You may not go to the movies, you’re not allowed to be a dancer and you’re not allowed to be a model because it’s sin. God see your heart not your body! Jesus said, “What comes out of your heart defile you.” He never said, “What comes out of your body defile you!” It only comes from the heart not the head, not the body – the heart! You can choose what you know is good for you – not evil. You can be a model or actress or dancer because there’s nothing wrong with it! So why are you limiting yourself? Why not dream? Let it go! But be a partner with God and allow Him to guide your way – the best way!

How the ‘legalism’ invests? Whose idea about ‘legalism’? For a good start the late ages world twisted the law of God into religious law. That is why Jesus said to the Pharisees and the scribes ‘Hypocrite’ because the religious people making a new law to brainwashed the innocent and to make them believed the lie of the devil and Jesus knew what the Pharisees and the Scribes’ doing to change the whole world into man’s written law. The Bible said in Revelation 22: 18 – 19 “For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; And if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.”

The man changed from God’s doctrine twisted to man’s doctrine. That’s why there are so many false doctrines around the world, which has never said in the Holy Bible! This is how man created the “do’s and the don’ts” in the doctrine when the ‘Legalism title’ invest! If you understand the history of the church then you will understand why and how it has started with the “Christianity Legalism.” Legalism is a one-way lecture or teaching with no discussion and no talk back or no argues back, do it and just do it and don’t and just don’t do it! Also legalism is a philosophy that has given birth to a number of other ‘isms’ that help to carry on and support the concept; for example (to mention few) creedism, denominationalism, isolationism, Pharisaism, sectarianism, judgmentalism and etc. It is like the Pharisees justified the evasion of weightier matters of the law and made it of no effect. The apostle Paul told the people in Galatia, a region of Asia Minor, that legalism is a yoke of bondage that not only will profit nothing, but it causes us to fall from grace (read the whole book of Galatians in the New Testament).

I remember when I was at school; I always believed strongly that the do’s and the don’ts would help me to be good. It’s not possible! From a very start, I have made the promised before God the Almighty that I must never touch any alcohol or a strong drink or smoking for the rest of my whole life. Then one day I started to drink and started to smoke, I have broken my vow to God. I have blamed myself for what I have done, I have prayed to God how sorry I am for a thousand times – I have always wondered if God is really listening to my prayer or is this too late? I feel like being far away from God because I thought that I was doing very wrong and it is too late to turn back to God again. This not true at all! It just the lie, because Jesus said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you, and I will always be with you until to the very end.” He is not far away from my prayer. This is a wonderful promises God has give His love for us no matter what situation we are in. I felt so encouraged by His promised words, which make me love Him even more.

I want to encourage you if you are in this similar situation like mine and you feel as if someone is telling you what to do like pressurizing or pushing you to do something into “the do’s and the don’ts”, you have the right to say, “No, you can not tell me what to do.” If you disagree with someone who give you or tell you wrong information, you can ask the wiser person to give you an advice or justify it if he/she has said is wrong or right. Go seeking wisdom and guidance from the Word of God and the mature Christian for your spiritual’s sake. As everybody is making a mistake but it is also making this mistake as a process of learning into maturity. If we had never made any mistake how then can you learn to grow into maturity? We all are always learning from our mistake and we are becoming a perfecting but not 100% perfected yet. Legalism people always believe that they are always right and the most perfect people in the world but actually they are not and they are deceived themselves! Pray for them to break their wrong thinking and stop the influence of religious legalism in their minds. If any of you have your mind on legalism – break it off your mind and bind your mind to the captivity to Jesus Christ. Amen!

Written by Inge Pinto (D), Johannesburg – 13 August 2002